I’ve got this friend, a woman by the name of Liz DiAlto, who is a wildly successful online entrepreneur.
Suffice it to say she’s pretty amazing, though the path to get to where she is now wasn’t easy.
Last Thursday, Liz sent me a message out of blue.
In that message, Liz said that she had been watching what I’d been putting out into the world, and had a feeling– an intuitive hit, if you will– that I might be needing some support.
Liz is like that.
And she was completely, 100% right.
Because last week, I was embedded in something of a dark night of the soul.
By the time Liz reached out, I had been quite privately suffering for days.
My plate was entirely overloaded.
I was sick, overwhelmed, and in final throes of negotiating partnerships between my organization for primary breadwinner women, 40 Percent and Rising, and two extremely high-profile supporters.
I was exhausted from parenting two kids under three while doing all of this.
And I was being warned by my doctor that I might be on my way to walking pneumonia if I wasn’t careful.
At the moment when Liz reached out, I had pretty much had enough.
. . . not that this moment was unfamiliar to me.
You see, every single person I know who has quit a path that others had laid for them in favor of charting their own destiny has faced a moment like this– several, in fact.
The moment when you wonder if you made the right choice.
The moment when you debate throwing in the towel.
The moment when you think, it was so easy before (even though I was miserable), I had the reliability of a steady paycheck (for which I sold my soul), and everything was so predictable (and I hated it). Why on earth did I choose this path instead?!
I responded to Liz immediately with a flood of messages about what was going on, and she replied by telling me that she was there to welcome me to my very own “dark ass crazy test of faith.”
What is the dark ass crazy test of faith?
In Liz’s words, it’s that moment that we all have to face right “before the floodgates open.”
This was an insane bit of brilliance from someone who’d been there, and made it through, and achieved new highs in her business and in life on the other side.
And it got me thinking quite a bit about what it takes to hold tight to what we know is true for ourselves in the face of almost overwhelming pressure to capitulate to what others think is best for us, to financial and societal strain, to the voices in our own heads that tell us we are undeserving or not ready.
It takes a determination– nay, a sheer, blind force of will– to believe in yourself, your intuition, and your purpose more than anything else.
And it is not easy.
As Liz and I talked, what came to light is that this dark ass crazy test of faith, this moment of doubting everything but nonetheless deciding to keep going, is, in some sense, the Universe doing a final check-in to make sure that you are really, really ready for what’s coming next, and that you’re all-in.
And it turned out, in the end, that I am all-in, come what may.
I believe completely in what I’m doing to the point that it feels as though I have no choice but to keep moving forward.
And I’m beyond ready for what’s coming next.
What I learned from Liz over the course of the next few days, in messages and phone calls and remote Reiki sessions and card readings and flat-out, balls-to-the wall advice, is this:
That on the other side of the dark ass crazy test of faith lies everything you’ve ever asked for, and much, much, much more.
I have a quote that hangs above my desk that reads as follows: “If you saw the size of the blessing coming, you would understand the magnitude of the battle you are fighting.” (click to tweet this)
Never before has that quote made more sense to me than it did last week.
Our blessings come in many forms, but this week, I can tell you this: one way through the dark ass crazy test of faith is to have others who have been there who just simply know the right moment to offer their support, their advice and their knowledge.
Who remind you of the light at the end of the tunnel.
And who are there to prepare you, in no small way, for all the joy you can stand.
Here’s to continuing to walk forward, even when we don’t know what’s coming next.
Here’s to those who walk with us.
And here’s to believing in blind faith that we’re on the right path, come what may.
Have a great week.
All the best,