shutterstock_182786846In recent weeks, a theme has emerged among a number of folks in my practice and in my life: the theme of how we sacrifice ourselves for others.

Among my friends, clients, and colleagues, I’ve spent inordinate amounts of time lately unpacking what we’re willing to do to meet the needs of others to the detriment of meeting our own– and the price we pay for doing so.

We’ve all had this experience to some degree. Maybe we fall head over heels for the high of early love, and neglect ourselves and all other relationships completely in the process. Or maybe we set out to care for our parents, our children, and our partners, and in the process fail to care for ourselves.

The place where I’m seeing it the most, however, is in women who are primary breadwinners for their families, who are uniformly making extraordinary sacrifices to meet the needs of others at work and at home.

And the consequences for this can be pretty dire. Your health, your relationships, your well-being and your mental stability can all be compromised when you put your own needs last.

So this week I’m offering a reminder that you may need:

you can’t take care of the needs of others unless you take care of yourself FIRST.

That includes taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, spiritually and in connection with others.

And the big benefit of this that we often miss is this:

when you lift yourself up, you lift up everyone you love in the process. (tweet this)

You show others how to care for themselves.

You have the energy and balance to care for others in a healthy way when needed.

And you learn how to meet your own needs so that you can meet the needs of those you love without sacrificing yourself along the way.

So how do you make sure that you do what you need to do for yourself when you need to do it, so that you maintain your own health and balance?

First, remember that the longest relationship you will have in your life is the one you have with yourself. You deserve your own attention, affection and love.

Second, make a non-negotiable deal with yourself that you will make time for yourself every single day– whether that’s ten minutes of mediation, an hour at the gym, or a walk around the park at lunchtime. Carving out this time is more valuable than you can possibly imagine if you are not already doing it.

Third, if you find yourself in a state of overwhelm where you have sacrificed too much for the sake of others in your life, reach out and reestablish connections with your community, and allow yourself to speak and be heard. Simple acts of connection in community feed our hearts, our limbic brains and our overall well-being in immeasurable ways. Allow others to lift you up, so that you can do the same for others and for yourself.

Making yourself a priority allows you to care for others when you need to, and offer the best of yourself to that process.

Wishing you a week of valuing yourself as much as your value everyone you love the most.


PS. Big announcements are coming your way in the next few days that I can’t wait to share! Keep your eyes peeled on your inbox!






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