shutterstock_178900970Back in my single, pre-parent days, I was known for throwing parties that put amazing people from different parts of my life in the same room together for the first time.

Magical things would happen at these events– people would fall in love, find new jobs, or form the perfect new friendship. It was awesome to watch, and I loved every second of it.


Because I have always been, as Malcolm Gladwell first coined the term in his book The Tipping Point, a consummate “connector.”

And in addition to being a connector, I’ve also got a ton of other connectors in my life in the form of clients, colleagues and mentors. What that means is that when I need a kick-ass PR firm, or support for a new endeavor, or the best web developer on the planet, all I have to do is ask the right person in my network, and boom! It’s done.

I love this. It’s a wonderful joy for me to connect others to those who need them, and to be connected with others who I need to know, simply by asking people I know to be the link.

For me, this has just always been a way of life, because connection comes so naturally to me.

It wasn’t until I started coaching others that I realized how hard it is for some people to do this, however. And what I REALLY didn’t realize, but understand completely now, is how badly everyone needs connectors in their life.

A good connector can make or break your career, your love life, and even your income.
A good connector is a conduit to everything you want in life, if they are willing to share their resources with you– whether what you want is the perfect nail salon or the perfect six-figure client.
A good connector can change your life overnight.

Think about it: I bet you know a few people who are connectors right now. And my bet is you’re not quite cultivating those relationships as well as you should.

I’m about to tell you how to do it, because if you work them right, those relationships are GOLD.

Caveat: it’s important to remember that connection is not a one-way street. To benefit the most from a relationship with a connector, you need to be in the flow of take AND give.

So how do you cultivate positive two-way relationships with the connectors in your life, so that you can benefit from all they have to offer?

First, approach everything from a place of gratitude. Be grateful for your connector’s time. Be grateful for their advice. Be grateful for their connections most of all! And yes, this means doing things like sending flowers, following up with emails, and paying for lunch when appropriate.

Second, stay connected to your connector! This means going out to coffee or lunch once a quarter, staying interested in what your connector is up to, and following what they’re doing on social media. Communication and interest are key here.

Third, ask for what you want. If you’d like a connection to potential new clients, or help getting a job interview, or access to the President of a favorite charity, ask!

Connectors will usually move heaven and earth to help others, because it’s what we love to do. (tweet this)

Finally, be willing to return the favor. Whether you’re a connector or not, you ALWAYS have something to offer your connector friend in return. Maybe it’s a testimonial for their website, or a recommendation for a killer yoga class, or a referral for a kitchen contractor for that renovation your connector is considering. Making connections for your connector keeps you in the flow of positive energy and abundance, so repay the favor of connection with more connection whenever you can.

Wishing you a week of working your connections, so that they work for you.

All the best,



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